Monday, November 24, 2008

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Beyonce Explains Why She Waited Eight Years to Marry Jay-Z

Beyonceandjayzlongkmwg_80023777 After denying all reports of their secret marriage and keeping all the details under wraps, Beyonce finally opens up about why she waited 8 years to marry Jay-Z.

"You have to find a person you can make it through the tough times with. So you have to make sure it's real, and you have to make sure you are honest, that you can be yourself, and find somebody who loves you - not the fantasy of you, but who you really are" the newlywed says in the new December/January issue of Seventeen.

Awarded for Style Star of the Year, Beyonce explained that she was 18 when she first met her now hubby and 19 when they first started dating.

"There was no rush -- no one expected me to run off and get married. I really don't believe that you will love the same thing when you're 20 as you do at 30. So that was my rule: before the age of 25, I would never get married. I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself, and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else", she told the mag.

Sounds like Beyonce knew what she wanted when she set up the whole "no marriage before 25" rule. Did you set an age limit on your wedding? Do tell, ladies.

photo by: Kevin Mazur/WireImage/Getty Images
Comments (11)|add a comment
1

I have been dating my fiance' for three years. We were high school sweethearts!! He finally proposed to me. I'm 19 and he's 20. We are waiting til Sept 2010 to get married. We will have been together 5 years by then! I don't feel like age has anything to with getting married. My parents got married when they were in their late twenties and young thirties and they still got divorced. It's all about wheather or not you can get through the hard times. I know me and my fiance' have had some really hard times, and things we had to go through. We made it through!! Never put an age limit on love! It's all about wheather or not your willing to put in the effort!

Posted by: Shanna
on December 2, 2008 at 5:12 PM

2

I am 25 years old and my fiance and I plan to have our wedding in the summer of 09. I also agree with Beyonce, and many of you, that you definitely have to know yourself and have your own identity before you can be someone's spouse.
I also think that you shouldn't put an age on when to get married. Everyone is different and has their own hopes and dreams. I don't plan on “settling down” once I'm married; I still have dreams to travel, own my own business, and become a great professional. I have a great career job, I have my master’s degree, and am pursuing my license; I have a relationship with God and am very happy with my life. I've started so many of the things I desire to do and I have so much more to go. I don't plan on ending my life once I'm married. During the 5 years we've known each other, my fiancé and I have always supported and spurred each other on as we pursued our individual dreams. When we’re married we'll have to be more considerate of our life together but we will continue to be each others #1 fan.

Posted by: ModestC
on December 2, 2008 at 2:12 PM

3

just like tiffany, who posted first, i'm 23 and engaged to be married to the man i've been with for four years (june 20th, 2009!)...i would agree that one of the most important things is to know yourself. i met my fiance when i was living alone in denmark as a student - we each had our own apartments, jobs, studies, lives...it was so essential to learn about each other and ourselves in this very real day-to-day environment for a few years while i was "growing up". we just moved in together and i've never been happier.

i would also say...for us, what has been key is being as honest as we can, and continually strenghtening that honesty in our relationship. i mean, i don't feel the need to tell my fiance Everything, but i'm also certain that there's nothing i Couldn't tell him because he's proven over and over that he loves me no matter what. it rules. but it also takes time to build! we've gone through so much and about a year ago i really began to feel that we really did have complete pictures of who we both were, and i am so secure that we are making the right choice. wish the wedding was today!!

Posted by: rebecca
on December 2, 2008 at 1:12 PM

4

I was 19 when I started dating my fiance. He is 8 1/2 years older than me when we began dating. I was so young and needed to grow. And needless to say he was too. But we both saw something in one another, and we both wanted to be able to learn together and as Beyonce said get through tough times. We did... 6 years and 3 months after we began dating, he proposed. People have their opinions and say we waited too long to be engaged but I think we got to know each other and gained a level of respect for one another that can withstand the tests of time! And the love that was able to blossom and mature is an amazing gift that we have given to one another!

Posted by: Mrs. Zelaya in the Making
on December 2, 2008 at 1:12 PM

5

I am 23 years old and am getting married September 2009.. I have been with my Fiance for 4 years now. We do not live together yet, as that is something we promised not to do until right before the wedding.
I don't think there should be a specific age on when you think you should get married. I think it depends on the person/situation you have. I have done alot of growing up the past two years. I have a full time career and so does my fiancee. We are both alot more mature then our age, we have had our fun and are now ready to settle down and start a family. I think it is a decision each person needs to make for themselves based off of your personality and your relationship.

Posted by: Tiffany
on December 2, 2008 at 11:12 AM

6

From personal experience, you also don't love the same thing at 40 that you do at 30...so what do you do? Wait until you're 50 when you've done absolutely EVERYTHING? I personally think between 30 & 35 you've done alot and have grown and matured into the person you'll always be. If life happens to throw a curve, you'll more than likely handle it.

Posted by: Kitty
on December 2, 2008 at 10:12 AM

7

Kudos to Beyonce! She is soo right. I simply do not understand these women who want to be married in their early 20's (sometimes even late 20's). There is so much to do!! It's not just about being alone/living by oneself .. it's also about accomplishing hopes and dreams on your own (renting an apartment, buying a condo, buying a car) - knowing what you are capable of before you hook on to some guy. It's important for you AND him to know that you can make it on your own and that you are a worthy addition and not a liability.....................I met my guy 10 years ago when I was 23 and he was 21. Needless to say, I had no interest because we both had growing to do. We dated other people but our being salsa partners kept up in touch. We've watched each other grow .. I finished design school and have my own company and condo. He has an awesome teaching position and owns three properties -- we are a looong cry from where we started. And I respect him as I've watched him grow. And he respects me too.

Posted by: FutureMrsPonce
on December 2, 2008 at 10:12 AM

8

Im 24 and engaged and know that I have found the perfect man. I had a lot of time to get to know myself in college, and have always been a self-reflective person. Everyone has always said that I have an older soul, and have always seemed to be more mature, know more about myself and others than anyone else my age. I do believe that it is important to know yourself before you can find a mate, because how will you know what to tell them?

Posted by: Denine
on December 2, 2008 at 9:12 AM

9

I knew when I was a little girl that I wanted to get married and I could picture my perfect wedding day. However, I knew I never wanted to get divorced. I told myself I would not marry a man until I knew that I would never get a divorce from him. I am currently 27 years old and am finally engaged to the perfect man who I will be with forever!

Posted by: Stacey
on December 2, 2008 at 9:12 AM

10

I didn't set a specific age, but I knew I didn't want it to be too early. I also knew, when I called off an engagement in my early 20's, that I had to live alone for a period of time before I got married. I had several years of fun, girls nights out, dating for fun, etc. I then met my fiance and we knew immediately we wanted to get married, but due to military deployments, that was quite a few years ago. LOL We still plan to get married soon, and to a great extent I am glad we waited. I would tell my own daughter not to even consider it until at LEAST 28, preferably 31 or 32. You are just so much more ready and know yourself so much better in your 30's. Not to say you can't have a successful marriage younger, I just think that 30's is a more optimal age.

Posted by: sxxymarineswife
on December 2, 2008 at 8:12 AM

11

My mother taught me a long time ago, that every woman should live alone (no roommate--male or female) for at least 6mos-1 year. It's the best way to know yourself--likes/dislikes; and learn how to provide for yourself. I did and I am a confident, self sufficient, and complete 29 year old. And I'm marrying the love of my life in October 2009.

Posted by: EbnIsh
on December 1, 2008 at 1:12 PM

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