Monday, August 11, 2008

3:59 PM
swirlMixed Receptionswirl

The Art of Wedding Sabotage

Juliarobertswedding_2 We've seen it done on soap operas, a few times in the movies (The Graduate, My Best Friend's Wedding and The Wedding Crashers come to mind), and even in a couple Hollywood romances (case in point: Jason Patrick ran away with best bud Kiefer Sutherland's girl Julia Roberts days before their wedding) but we've never actually met anyone that set out to deliberately sabotage someone else’s wedding day.  Enter the embittered ex-girlfriend of your FH.

In a recent New York Times article, tales of missing dresses, MIA limos and showing up uninvited at the wedding were just some examples of exes taking out their revenge on the bride and groom.

"I thought to myself, I'm going to tell him I miss him, ruin his wedding, and no longer be the only one who's still single," one former sabotager states in the article.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like the art of letting go is the best wedding gift you can give or receive.

Do you or your FH have someone who's trying to sabotage your wedding day? Share your story now!

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Mixed Reception
posted by:
Summer Krecke

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1

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Posted by: how to get your lover back fast
on January 16, 2009 at 8:01 AM

2

The worst experience I've had in my entire 7 month long engagement is a friend who wanted to be a bridesmaid who will not be because while she's a very close friend of mine, she had a crush on my FH while we all were in college. Seeing as I just graduated from college in May, I didn't think that would be a good idea. Besides that, we have been prayerful throughout this process and really focusing on #1- the realities of marriage. While we love each other, it will not always be roses #2- the only way we are going to get through those times that are not peachy is through submitting our lives, hearts and big mouths to the Lord. Recognizing the significance of marriage and that we are going to be putting God's plan for redemption for the people whom He loves so dearly on display is no light matter. I guess that's helped keep our wedding planning in perspective. Our friends either understand the magnitude of this reality or love and respect us enough that they have not given us a hard time and we sure are grateful for that!

Posted by: Leah
on December 30, 2008 at 4:12 PM

3

I can't believe how some people behave when someone announces they are getting married. And I completely understand that when you are marrying your FH or FW you are also marrying the family. I told a few close friends and my family that my man and I are getting married in September. I am wearing a very untraditional colored dress...dramatic red. LOVE IT!!! And what is really sad about this otherwise exciting event is that we havent even told his mother yet mainly because she is naturally pessimistic about everything. I know financially this year was rough and next year wil be no better but to me and my boyfriend we need to get this show in the road. We want to have kids and quite frankly I'm tired of calling him my boyfriend. We have been dating for 5 years in February and 2 of those years we have been living together. My instincts tell me that some of his family likes me and wouldn't mind having me as part of the family and others, which include his mother, would prefer for me to be girlfriend until our dying day. We have both had to overcome some culture shock as he is Caucasian and I am African-American/Cherokee mix. You would think that in this day and age we would have gotten past all that color nonsense but yet it lingers. Well future brides I wish everyone the best of luck and keep your head up and smile. The only thing you have to remember to keep happy is your man...don't neglect him in this process. Make him feel useful because I know it is all to easy for such fine and fabulous independent women to become like an alpha woman when it comes to wedding planning. And just remember if you think someone is going to be totally negative sometimes there is not enough ettiquette books in the world that can help a situation. Use a little tack and say how you feel. You don't have to curse out your inlaws but let your feelings be known especially to your FB so he knows how you feel and can stand up for you as well. Much luch and CONGRATULATIONS...Your getting MARRIED!!!!

Posted by: Danielle
on December 30, 2008 at 2:12 PM

4

After reading some of these I feel pretty lucky! My future in-law’s are great, my family adores my Fiancé and the wedding is pretty much taking care of itself. The problem is that I have a friend who is driving me crazy!!! I am having a small wedding (about 70 people) very close friends and family only. I have been to so many weddings where the people closest to the bride and groom end up doing all the work while the ones who they barely know get to just show up, have a good time, and leave. I wanted my wedding to be a joy for all of my people so I decided to make the people I don't know do all the work. I also decided not to have a wedding party since I didn't want anyone throwing fits because I didn't ask them. Problem solved right? WRONG! I grew up in a different state than I currently live and have only been here for a couple years. I feel that my closest friends are where I grew up but I do have two friends that I have made down here that I am close enough to. Friend A. has been supportive and encouraging and I enjoy sharing my wedding plans with her. Friend B. however threw a fit that I wasn't having bride’s maids and told me I was "ruining her experience". Then she would constantly ask me about my wedding plans and when I would talk to her about it she would get all upset and complain that she was single and how much she wished she was getting married. When I showed her my idea for my wedding dress she said that it was ugly and told me that was more for someone with "classic beauty" so that makes me what? Quasimodo? As I stated before I want my guest to show up and have a good time without having to worry about setting things up or cleaning. I am having my wedding in a hotel where they are doing everything for me and the wedding coordinator handles all the problems I don't want to stress about! Great exactly what I wanted! Friend B had the nerve to tell me I was lazy and that I should do everything myself and accused me of being a bad wife and that my fiancé wont be able to rely on me. And now she is bugging me about letting her go with me when I pick out my dress since "I don't know what looks good on me" My fiancé says to un-invite her but I feel like that will only make her go even more crazy. Plus she is a total flirt; she even flirts with my fiancé right in front of me! She keeps talking about making a toast at the reception but she will have a microphone over my cold dead body! I just don't know what to do with her. Maybe I can lock her in a closet until the wedding is over.

Posted by: Alicia
on September 12, 2008 at 8:09 PM

5

I must say the stories her don't shock me. My biggest dilemma is that I don't want my sister to me my MOH and I don't want my drug selling, ghetto, trifflin' brother to come at all. My sister is a negative person and only complains when I ask her to do the smallest thing to help with our mother. My mother on the other hand only sees her as an angel who can do no wrong which truly takes away from all that I do for her. My mother is furious and my sister's disappointed and not speaking to me. I'm having a small wedding and I've made up my mind. My MOH is my BF who has been there for me since college and my FSIL is the only other bridesmaid. Less people=Less drama!!

Posted by: Chris
on September 9, 2008 at 11:09 PM

6

I have read alot of these blogs and I find it so sad. This is the most important day of a Bride's and Groom's life. And all of these outside influences................ the key word is Their Day, not MOB,FOB,MOH,BM, BF,Aunt, Uncle etc, etc. So Sad. I am getting married October 2009, andthis will be MY and MY FH's DAY, no one else. Besides, if these people are really your friends, love ones, there would be no conflict.

Posted by: Kitty
on September 9, 2008 at 8:09 PM

7

My FH and I are both young and have been together for over a year. We were going to wait to tie the knot until I was graduated and he was out of the military. However, we realized that we didn't want to wait another 2+ years, so we set a date for January 2009. My family was a bit surprised but all my parents (my folks divorced and are both remarried) and siblings are totally supportive and they adore him. And luckily for me, his family has been really wonderful and are very happy.

However, my FBIL has somewhat ex-communicated himself from the family. My FH's father left them when my FH and FBIL were very small. My FMIL has been remarried a few times, had one more boy who is now 5, and is married now with a man who is very loving and supportive. My FBIL decided at the end of his high school years that his family wasn't good enough for him.

He married right out of high school a girl who nobody in the family likes, joined the Air Force, and didn't tell anyone he was going to Afghanistan. Him and his wife have a little baby girl, but my FH's grandma was telling me that she wouldn't even let her hold the baby. FBIL's wife even told my FMIL that since she only had boys, she didn't know how to take care of a girl. She also had the audacity to say that my FH's little half-brother was getting too chubby, even though she is about 5'2" and weighs at least 200 pounds.

I haven't even met FBIL or his wife and though I want to meet them, I'm not sure if I want them at the wedding. MY FH doesn't mind if his brother comes with the baby, but nobody can stand his wife and we can't very well invite one and not the other. Sigh.

I'm also hoping my two sets of parents will get along-- we went through a lot of court battles the last few years I was in high school, and I actually didn't talk to or see my dad & stepmother for a year because I couldn't stand to be around them. We've sort of made up now, but I just hope that my folks can set aside their personal vendettas and just enjoy the day.

Finally, I have a mutual friend of me and my FH's, who has been a bit of a thorn in my side for the last year. We went to the same high school and she decided she wanted to go to the same small school as me, and then decided to switch to the same major as me. When me and FH started dating, she seemed to be upset when we wanted to spend time with each other and not with her-- it was a new relationship, obviously we were still getting to know each other. Plus, since he lived two hours away at a military base, he could only come visit on the weekends. Though we talked a lot, this was our only real time together and I had tons of homework, besides.

Once we get engaged several months later, she pretty much did everything she could to try and persuade us to change our minds. She was mad that we didn't tell her right away-- my FH told a close friend, who told a friend, who told her. I told her that it was unintentional, we meant to tell her personally but not even our parents knew yet and we were going to wait a few months to make it public knowledge. She was still miffed about it and didn't like us being engaged.

Then, when we announced that we were getting married sooner, she pretty much barraged me with questions and judgmental comments and said that we were too immature and weren't thinking of the consequences, there was no reason for us to get married, I would just end up pregnant and living with my parents, we needed to wait, etc. She also said that the reason I wanted to get married was probably just because of the issues I'd had with my Dad over the past few years and I just wanted someone else's love to fill the void in me. (Um, actually, I want to marry him because he is my best friend, the love of my life, and I want to spend the rest of my time on this earth with him, but thanks, Freud...)

When I called her on it, she defensively asked me what I expected when I told her we were getting married-- for her to be happy? She seemed to laugh at the idea.

My main issue is that she has never had a real romantic relationship in her life, yet she is trying to tell me how to run mine. In fact, for a year prior, she had a very unhealthy relationship with a 'best friend' she was obsessed with, who lived in another state and treated her like absolute shit. It's my opinion that she doesn't really know how to choose healthy people in her life. But she loves lecturing other people about theirs.

Plus, my FH and I talked and thought very long and hard about moving the wedding date sooner. I really took my time to think about it, because I didn't want to have any second thoughts or regrets. I read books on being married to someone in the military, dealing with deployment, talked a lot to my mom who is a counselor, etcetera. So for her to just assume we were being ignorant and not thinking it through was maddening.

Then she told me that her cousin married young to a man in the navy and was now pregnant and living with their grandparents and the same thing would probably happen to me, that I wouldn't grow up and mature as my own person but would only be 'his wife.' This regardless of the fact I'm quite mature for my age (according to other people I know), I'm in college to get my BFA, I plan on studying abroad, and have no intentions of having children for at least another 7 or 8 years. Our situations are totally different and I am very much my own person, thank you.

So after all that, I talked to my FH and we both realized we really didn't want her in the wedding party-- I had offhandedly told her she could be a bridesmaid many months before, which was a bad move. When she found out she wasn't going to be a bridesmaid anymore, she threw a huge fit. I mean, common sense says for me that, if you don't support the wedding, why would you want to be in the wedding party to begin with? I tried to explain to her that I respected her opinion but I really just didn't feel comfortable giving her a role in my wedding anymore.

She cried victim, saying she was being punished for being honest with me, while everyone else was thinking the same thing as her and just pretending to be happy. She said she was being a good friend by being honest.

For now, I'm just trying to figure out how to deal with her in a reasonable way, because I know she used to have a bit of a thing for my FH and I know it's probably hard to see two of her friends get married while she has never even dated. So I'm trying to be understanding, though it's a huge pain.

Posted by: Kristie
on September 9, 2008 at 5:09 PM

8

ok where to begin with this one....
I had asked my best friend to be my maid of honor. I thought it was a great choice well it wasn't!
She fought with me about everything, from the length of the dress (stating that big girls can't wear knee length dresses and she wont wear it) to the location of the reception hall. I pick a nice hall in a good neighborhood (no drive by shootings for me) well she wanted it to be in the ghetto (hood) a cross from a park known as needle park. She fought with my about the limo, I pick a stretch hummer and she felt i should have gotten 2 limos so that after the wedding she can be in the limo with me, the best man, and my husband and that everyone else can be in the other limo.
Next came her other friends... Her co-work (which is really her boss) is getting married the same day as me. Well her co-worker actually told her not to come to my wedding but to go to hers instead. ok whatever but what really pissed me and my entire bridal party off was her co-worker asked her to get extra tickets to a wine and cheese expo so she could take her entire bridal party, when my moh registered for these tickets she used my name, my address, her e-mail and her phone number and then you guest it she gave the tickets to her co-worker. Then she called me and asked me to go to it with her because she had 2 tickets. Then i get a phone call from the company hosting this event tell me that they have 2 phone numbers for my name and 2 e-mail addresses. Now i had already registered for the tickets but i didn't tell her because i was going to take some of the other girls in my wedding party and when i told her i offend that she did something like that to me she told me that the tickets were never meant for me to know about and she only invited me because there was 2 extra tickets left. Then i started to get letters (car insurance etc....)sent to my house with her name and my address and i confronted her and she blew it off so i told her to change her address and i even gave her 2 months to do so, now every time i get a letter for her it's marked r2s. I ended our friendship over this drama and when i did she told me it was ok because i'm a no good friend any way because i put r2s on her mail.
Now my brother and my sister in law are the best man and maid of honor! Thank God!

Posted by:
on September 1, 2008 at 9:09 AM

9

While I am a bit sad to say this I am actually kind of glad that many of you are going through similar situations as myself. My FSIL is a major attention hog (to say the least) and actually had the nerve to discuss HER entire wedding at our engagement party (she isn't engaged and her boyfriend has stated that he doesn't want to get married at all). Anyway, I feel that she has made it her personal mission to ruin my relationship and my big day. My FH is wonderful and really supports me and can see his sister for who she really is but it doesn't change the fact that his entire family is too cowardly to deal with her. If I were to tell you some of the stories it would take forever but all I can say is thank you everyone, it is nice to know that I am not the only one.

Posted by: SMM
on August 23, 2008 at 1:08 PM

10

my fmil(step)is driving me crazy.she treats my fh like he is a child and cant make any desicions,and telling us how we should invite certain relatives we've never met because they have alot of money.i would never invite anyone for that reason!everytime i see her,she complains about every decision i make and says "well,thats alot of money you know" and "well thats alot of people,and if you dont think theyll come and then they come you cant tell them to not come"NO KIDDING!im 27 years old,im not a child and im very well aware its alot of money.its just so aggravating because my grandparents are paying for half the bill,me and my fh are paying for most of the other half,and his parents are just pitching in here and there,and my family just says"do whatever makes you happy"and his stepmom belittles all these decisions that are none of her business.im really worried im going to end up telling her off before the wedding comes which i dont want to happen since i have to put up with her for the rest of my life.

Posted by: starr
on August 22, 2008 at 3:08 PM

11

Firts let me say I don't have a problem with his mother loving me or my mother loving him. Me and his daughters mother get along great, as well as my son's father and my FH. My problem startes when I first decided to get married all I heard was you don't have the money. Me personally, I believe marriage is not about how much money you have, but the love the two of you have for each other. Well my mother thought otherwise and wanted us to have a destination wedding, due to the fact his mother is on oxygen that was out of the question. So the wedding planning begins and my mother is totally against everything I choose. I actually let her take control of my wedding. Then my coordinator tried to take over with the tatse of someone who she thought had millions, so I had to cut her out, it hurt because she is my aunt. Then I had to choose my bridesmaids that was not hard, so I thought. My mother asked that I make my sister my MOH, who every chance she gets calls me all kinds of bitches. I did it though to keep the piece, but get this I also had to make my BF my BFOH, that pissed my sister off because she can't stand my BF. Well now I see why it is 2 months before my wedding and my BF has still not gotten her dress. Then there is my other BF who from the start was jealous because I made my other BF my BFOH, she has to decided to get married to someone that is not around (no need to say where he is) and they planned there wedding for 2 months after mine, which leaves me know time to help her plan. So that is pissing her off as well as her fiance because he feels like she is apart of my wedding, because she brought a dress, and I am not apart of hers. Well that takes me back to my mother who has finally come around, paying for the caterers, this is what she wanted so she got it(if it was up to me the family would have been cooking). His mother in the other hand has been a god send she has stepped in and took alot off our hands. My aunt is back and has agreed to pay for all the flowers, and so far so good. I can honestly say I know first hand how hard it is, but just keep in mind this day is your day know one else's. Remember you have the last and final say about who you want there and what you don't want there.

Posted by: Tee
on August 19, 2008 at 3:08 PM

12

I am getting married September 26 and hope I can hold out until then. My FH and I moved in with my parents to have help with our daughter and save some money. My Mom is mentally ill, she has bipolar Disorder. We do not get along at all these days, but she takes it to a whole new level. Not to say that I don't lash out at her. She twists everything around to act like my FH is some kind of monster. Just today she was talking badly about us to someone on the phone. Last time we got into it she locked my daughter and I out of the house, so I didn't know what to do. She verbally abuses me and will not leave me alone even when I ask nicely. We do not have enough money to move out right now. She's trying to find a way to kick us out by getting people on her side under false pretenses. I am trying really hard to get a job because I want to get out of here as fast as possible, though I hoped to stay at home with my 4 month old. We only have one car, so when my FH is at work I have no way to get away from the attacks. I feel mentally and physically sick and drained of energy. I am Supposed to be focusing on our our beautiful daughterand our upcoming wedding, but that is overshadowed by my Mom's plot against us. I am honestly a little worried that she would harm me. When she was yelling at me all day, she said she wasn't coming to the wedding and now she says she is. I think she might make a scene and try to stop the wedding. If anyone has any advice as what to do to get us and more importantly my daughter out of this unhealthy situation I would appriciate it more than you know.

Posted by: Adrienne
on August 16, 2008 at 8:08 PM

13

I got married last yr Dec. the BM in our wedding and his fiancee decided to have a physical fight beore the wedding. Well my husband was home waiting...waiting...waiting calling calling and the dude never showed up or even answered his phone. we thought he was in an accident and waited for one hour we lost our $ 1000 late fee amongst other things threw everything off the photographer couldn't get good shots becuse I was crying for most of the time. I really planned everything TOO well so there was no contingency plan for the BM not showing up!!! the priest rushed the ceremony. the BM had the audacity to call days later to apologise he "wasn't thinking straight!?!!" Well needless to say i cried like a bitch so all my pics my eyes are RED. It totally pissed off my husband who got totally drunk...what a wedding night Whoopeeee!! We lost thousands of dollars because everything was thrown off schedule. Well my husband I decided to redo our vows cause of the mess he made. We're planning to do a destination wedding this time in Barbados. The BM keeps calling to speak to us over and over and goes out of his way to be where we'll be hanging out...we just ignore him. He's supposed to get married soon I wish him the same...

Posted by: jenny
on August 16, 2008 at 5:08 PM

14

My FH was married before and has two children with his ex. They got married because she was pregnant. They eloped so she didn't have a dress, cake, reception, first dance, or any of that. She is crazy (on meds) to begin with but she is pissed that we are having a much bigger wedding than she had. I planned our wedding on a day when the custody paperwork said my FH got the kids but lately she hasn't been letting us see the kids even if the paperwork says she has to. We have to take her to court to make up the time and she has to pay fines. His kids are the flower girl a ring bearer and I won't be suprised if she won't let the kids be there to try to ruin our day.

Posted by: Tracey
on August 14, 2008 at 4:08 PM

15

In April my FH and I got engaged. We were planning on an August wedding in his home town since I had moved around alot and didn't really have a "hometown". We thought that 4 months was just fine; we had dated for over a year and had been close friends for about two years before that. A week after we got engaged, the wedding was planned (I am an event planner), and the non-refundable deposit were paid. The next weekend I went and found a beautiful dress and found the BMs dresses. Everything was rocking along wonderfully. The following Monday, I get a call from the caterer, then the location, then the florist, then the bakery all saying the same thing "We are so sorry to hear about the wedding being called-off, we will keep you in our thoughts, however, the deposits are non-refundable". What the hell? My future mother in-law had called every vendor and cancelled our wedding. She said it was so we could focus on raising our child. IM NOT PREGNANT. His entire family just assumed that since we were getting married in 4 months that I was pregnant. So, I made my mother in-law pay me back the $4k in deposits. She was pissed. To this day, his family still asks us when were are going to come clean with the pregnancy. So now we are planning a new wedding, 500 miles from them, and all they know is a date and nothing else.

Posted by: Lindsey
on August 14, 2008 at 9:08 AM

16

I am having the hardest time trying to deal with this issue. My fiance' and I are getting married at the end of may, we already have our precious daughter and we live together; like we have been doing for the past 3 years. He proposed to me when I was pregnant, and by the time we get married we will have been together for 4 years and engaged for two of those years. Well here is where the problem comes in to play.. His mother and his sister keep trying to get him to break off the wedding and then on top of it his ex GF somehow keeps getting our number and harassing us trying to get us to split up. We have changed our number 5 times in one year, I swear I think his family keeps giving it to her so she can help try to break us up. But then when his family is around me they act like they are my best friend. My family is so excited for us and they are paying for everything, his family won't even pay for a measly rehersal dinner instead my family said they would pay for it because they know that this is what we want and we love each other. I just don't understand why they are throwing such a fit. It is our life, we have a baby, we obviously love each other and want to be together. Any advice would help.

Posted by: Andrea
on August 13, 2008 at 9:08 PM

17

After reading all of your posts I'm happy I'm not alone and thankful because my situation is bad but it could be so much worse. I'm african american and FH is white. His 80 year grandmother told my FH that I am good enough to be the live in whore but not good enough to be the wife. Before the ring was on my finger I was invited to her home, broke bread with her and had really good conversations. This broke my heart because now she is saying she isn't coming to the weeking. My FH's mother passed away two years ago so he has gotten a lot closer to his mother's side of the family. He has this cousin that is self serving and everyone around her answers to her beck and call. Well I don't and won't do it. She doesn't like me because I'm not white and I'm not a size 2. Then there is my family my aunt is talking about not coming to the wedding because she can't get along with my mother. Forget the fact that the wedding is about me and my FH. My own mother makes jokes about wanting to be on a cruise instead of come to my wedding because I invited my dad's family that she doesn't like. My father passed away 9 years ago but she doesn't understand why I would want them to come. My little sister got married last year in a warehouse that looks like an old high school gym. She keeps asking me how much money I spent. When I told her I was engaged she asked to send her a text picture of my ring because she wanted to know if my ring was bigger than hers. My MOH is a god sent. She is getting married the year after me so we are learning as we go. She has the same crazy family I have and she is helping me get through this while keeping my eye on the prize. Which is me and my FH finally being married, happy, and making it to the honeymoon. Even his father and step-mother doubted me asking him if we were getting married because they thought my FH was paying my rent. My FH does make more money than me but I am debt free with a credit scored of 760 to his 520 because of defaulted student loans and credit cards. I'm helping my FH pay off his debt so we can get a house in three years. When he lost his job for the state I carried us for several months until he found another job on my money and my savings. We are planning this wedding together without any outside help so I can prove to them that we are marrying for love and if they don't like it don't show up. I would rather have the day of my dreams and be a little sad that you didn't show up than be pissed off that paid all this money for the day of dreams for you to show up acting crazy.
All I have to say is hang in there. The storm is the worse part but look towards all the great moments that start once those people go home.

Posted by: Dorae
on August 13, 2008 at 8:08 PM

18

One of my bridesmaids is a big fat cow who expects me to pay for everything from her dress to our accommodation the night before the wedding, to her hair and makeup. I am already paying three quarters of the cost of her wedding dress, as well as contributing to the cost of her hair and makeup. I'm also paying for our accommodation the night before - no offer to chip in from her. She was engaged at least two years before me and I get the impressio she's jealous that I'm getting married before her. She takes any chance she can get to put me down in front of other people and she'll take anything she can get for free. If I could turn the clock back, I never would have asked her to be in my bridal party.

Posted by: Louise
on August 13, 2008 at 6:08 PM

19

The good thing is that my family loves my FH and his Family loves me. My family doesnt want me to get married because we are too young my mother is 52 and unmarried and my sister is 29 and unmarried and I just want to ask them how do they know what age is "right" for marrying the love of your life. My mom on the other hand is somewhat happy for me. My sister has tried to talk me out of marrying my FH from the start because she thinks that as time passes we wont be in-love anymore. I never even told my sister that I was engaged my mom told her after my Fh asked her for my hand. She promptly called me and asked me if my FH was CRAZY. My sister and I never really got along. My sis told me that I had to make her my MOH. What? Now Total I have 6 sisters If I make one of them a BM I have to make all of them a BM...what about my friends? I cant afford to have 12 BMs nor do I want that many hoover behind me. How come everytime I see my sister she has to preach at me telling me what a huge mistake Im making. This is what I have to say to say to her "I love him B!@#% so F@#% off!

Posted by: Tia
on August 13, 2008 at 5:08 PM

20

The good thing is that my family loves my FH and his Family loves me. My family doesnt want me to get married because we are too young my mother is 52 and unmarried and my sister is 29 and unmarried and I just want to ask them how do they know what age is "right" for marrying the love of your life. My mom on the other hand is somewhat happy for me. My sister has tried to talk me out of marrying my FH from the start because she thinks that as time passes we wont be in-love anymore. I never even told my sister that I was engaged my mom told her after my Fh asked her for my hand. She promptly called me and asked me if my FH was CRAZY. My sister and I never really got along. My sis told me that I had to make her my MOH. What? Now Total I have 6 sisters If I make one of them a BM I have to make all of them a BM...what about my friends? I cant afford to have 12 BMs nor do I want that many hoover behind me. How come everytime I see my sister she has to preach at me telling me what a huge mistake Im making. This is what I have to say to say to her "I love him B!@#% so F@#% off!

Posted by: Tia
on August 13, 2008 at 5:08 PM

21

my hubby to be's best man wont waer what i have chosen as my colors and has informed me that he will be wearing all black to my wedding including a sword.OMG talk about grose. I have tryed to compramise by chosing an all black suite. i thoght by say fine to the suite and adding an apple red vest with an ivory shirt. that would not do and informs me that he will either wear a jacket or vest and not both and he will wear a black shirt and nothing else. and the sword is not optional. my future hubby thinks even this is a bit much. I know he is going through a divorce but he should not take it out on my wedding day. my colors are apple red and silver how hard is that.

Posted by: Cristina
on August 13, 2008 at 4:08 PM

22

my hubby to be's best man wont waer what i have chosen as my colors and has informed me that he will be wearing all black to my wedding including a sword.OMG talk about grose. I have tryed to compramise by chosing an all black suite. i thoght by say fine to the suite and adding an apple red vest with an ivory shirt. that would not do and informs me that he will either wear a jacket or vest and not both and he will wear a black shirt and nothing else. and the sword is not optional. my future hubby thinks even this is a bit much. I know he is going through a divorce but he should not take it out on my wedding day.

Posted by: Cristina
on August 13, 2008 at 4:08 PM

23

I have been with FH for almost 8 years. Everything was great with his family until the ring went on my finger. His mother started slowly edging her way into all the planning but I put a stop to that quickly but politely. I know how controlling she can be, and so does my FH. That's when things got really bad. She decided that we didn't need her in our lives and threatned to not come to the wedding. Not only her, but all her family and friends. She actually went as far to call all her friends and tell them not to come. She claimed that we were being mean to her buy not including her in EVERYTHING. And I mean everything...she was very upset when I picked out the bridesmaids dresses and did not ask her opinion! She actually told my FH that she would NEVER forgive me for that! On top of all that, it has gotten back to me that she has not been saying the nicest things about me or my family which has hurt my feelings very badly. I do not want to even face her the day of the wedding, but I know she will show up! How am I supposed to go on the with the rest of my life knowing that she has tried to hurt me on purpose? I love my FH with my whole heart, and he has been on my side 100%. I fault him for none of this. His mother has tried to make this a competition between her and I. She told his aunt that she hopes that he will come back to her in 3 years!! I guess she is hoping i won't be in the picture that long after the wedding. Not only am I afraid of what she will try to pull the day of the wedding, but the days after as well. Is there anyone out there that has been through something like this??

Posted by: Bride08
on August 13, 2008 at 3:08 PM

24

oh man. i feel, i really do. my FH's stepmother (STEP!) canceled everything after getting annoyed with him over his job. canceled EVERYTHING. w/o anyone's knowledge until after the fact. canceled venue (deposit paid), etc after 4 months of planning. Good thing my dress was already bought! So i've had to replan everything in two months. Also, my parents decided this wasn't important enough to put forward effort to come to the wedding becuase they'd have to travel (to the state I live in-own a house; it's not a destination wedding!). But the lesson i learned is you really CAN choose your family. Family is who you make it to be and all of my cherished friends are going and we are going to have a great party.

Posted by: Maria
on August 13, 2008 at 1:08 PM

25

Just to add -

My fiance and I were engaged for almost year and she helped plan with me the whole time. She got propesed and planned her wedding in 3 months- All because (which she finally admitted to me via e-mail) that she wanted to be married first and wanted to have a bigger and better wedding and so that my fiance's best friend and best mans would be able to attend her wediing and not ours!

CRAZY B$%#@!

Posted by: Bride 7/19
on August 13, 2008 at 1:08 PM

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