Engagement Break-ups: When "I Do" Becomes "I Don't"

On Tuesday, Desperate Housewives star Nicolette Sheridan announced that she and her fiance, singer Michael Bolton had called it quits. Generally, we try to avoid the downside of celebrity weddings and engagements, but this time around, it really got us thinking about the proper wedding protocol for announcing a broken engagement. Should you call your guests? Should you send them a card? Should you leave it up to your bridal party to inform everyone? Thankfully, our pal Peggy Post, wedding etiquette expert extraordinaire (and granddaughter of Emily Post) was able to fill us in on the right way to say it's over.

Do: Tell your family first, advises Post. "Your parents should be the first to know. When children are involved from a previous marriage, they should be told even before your parents hear the news. If any children have developed a good relationship with the person you were engaged to, it’s especially imperative to tell them right away."

Don't: Wait for friends and family to spread the word. You should immediately begin contacting people. While Post recommends by phone, e-mail or a simple note are also acceptable. If you choose to send a card, the following wording is appropriate: "Mr. and Mrs. James Hinckley announce that the marriage of their daughter Rebecca to Mr. Oliver Smith will not take place."

Do: Make sure you return all your engagement, shower and wedding gifts immediately, says Post. That includes any monetary gifts as well. You should also include a brief note explaining the situation and thanking the person for their thoughtful gift: "Dear Jessica, I am sorry to have to tell you that Henry and I have broken our engagement. I'm returning the beautiful crystal bowl that you were so thoughtful to send. Love, Ashley"

Don’t: Leave it up to a family member or friend to do all your dirty work for you. "A family member or friend may be able to help you out by getting in touch with people who have been contracted for services (caterers and the like), but you should personally speak with the officiant, attendants, and others who agreed to participate in the planned wedding," says Post. 

Get more wedding etiquette advice from Peggy Post at WeddingChannel.com.